A step in the right direction...

I found my shoes! They are a size 10, online in america, and they don't deliver to australia - but I found them!!

These are the shoes I have been imagining and running around Sydney trying to find something even remotely similar.



So, I am thinking that I could get these shoes - have them sent to the ISYS Denver office, as well as the veil I want to buy, and have Denver send them to the ISYS office for me for pick up. If the shoes are too big, by the time I put Foot Jellies on the ball of the shoe, as well as in the heel, they'll probably fit great. If they are too small, I can try and stretch them or something. If they don't work out, I'll sell them (along with the First Dress). I just *love* these shoes so much. My other option is to buy them in white and attempt to dye them the correct colour myself.. not sure if that is a great idea HAHA

And as for the veil... I am in a big dilema. The ebay seller has finally listed it again. I believe it comes in Ivory (am checking now), and it is stunning. The thing is, the ebay seller does not have a perfect reputation... Do I risk it?

The other question is, I am in total love with this veil, it's all sparkly with Swarovski Crystals. The back of the dress is fairly plain, so I thought the crystals would be lovely, though I am wondering if they'll be too much bling...? Should I just be going for a plain and simple veil with a rattail edge?

All thoughts welcomed!

A new take on the old bag.

I have a bag for the wedding! Oh, it is devine. I'll take a pic! Though there is still that minor detail of the missing card reader...

The bag is champagne (slightly pinker than my dress) with sequins, beads and ostrich feathers. It is very antique-y... but brand new! It's JAG brand, and at 50% off retail, I scored a bargin!

The shoes are driving me insane though. I know EXACTLY what I want. I even found them online. But the seller of them (who is on EBAY) no longer has them... ARGH!! THey probably would not have fit me anyways. *pout!*

I have been making fascinators! I have one half made (for me), though I might redo it or make another now that I kinda know what I am doing. I need to have the mini-me go to sleep first though.

I am also making the bridesmaids ones. They are going to all be the same I think, though, I had originally decided to make them all different - now I am not sure. They'll be fine in the end, regardless... but I only have enough supplies to try it once LOL...

In other news, the dress has been ordered! I took the leap of faith and my dress was bought through an Ebay Seller, though not through Ebay. THey are a registered Aussie business though, so if it all fails, I'll sue them and wear my backup dress... I should have the dress no later than the 20th of June... *gasp* sooo excited!! Bit scary too...

Celebrants are on the horizon. Need to get my birth certificate... it's funny you need to have a birth certificate to get married - but to get a birth cert you need to have a passport/medicare/license etc... yet all of those require a birth cert in the first place LOL.

Right... need to make some fabulous fascinators!

ANZAC - more than just a biscuit

Today is ANZAC day. A hugely important day in my life. It is a day I think of a black and white photo of a strapping young man in his army gear. His jawline as strong bold as his courage. A wry smile pursed to his lips. No one ever spoke of this photo much, but in my heart I saw so much in it. It was my grandfather, and in that photo I saw a life so hard I could never imagine.

My grandfather fought in the second world war. Growing up I did not do much talking to him about it, but I respected him so much for it all. I became involved in "Australia Remembers - 50 years" the anniversary of the end of world war two. I went to a state lunch with the premier, and a large number of Returned Servicemen and Women.

I have marched in the ANZAC day parade - wearing my other grandfather's medals. He was a merchant seaman for england. My gratitude swelled, as did my chest puffing it out as the medals perched on the right hand side, usually falling lopesided from their weight.

I have talked to widows on the pain of their losses while researching for Australia Remembers. Watching as their eyes grow misty with memories and tears. Bittersweet.

I cannot hear the Last Post, without welling up tears. It hits the core of me. It touches my heart. The same way Abide With Me does. It is more than a hymn. It is my grandmother, my grandfather, my step-dad, my mum, my family, my childhood - all rolled into one.

ANZAC day is more than just biscuits, beer and two-up. It is more than a public holiday or an excuse to catch up with mates. It is a day that ressonates so deeply within me. Nay, it is a day that is part of me. A chance to reflect and respect.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.



I crouched in a shallow trench on that hell of exposed beaches... steeply rising foothills bare of cover... a landscape pockmarked with war’s inevitable litter... piles of stores... equipment... ammunition... and the weird contortions of death sculptured in Australian flesh... I saw the going down of the sun on that first ANZAC Day... the chaotic maelstrom of Australia’s blooding.

I fought in the frozen mud of the Somme... in a blazing destroyer exploding on the North Sea... I fought on the perimeter at Tobruk... crashed in the flaming wreckage of a fighter in New Guinea... lived with the damned in the place cursed with the name Changi.

I was your mate... the kid across the street... the med. student at graduation... the mechanic in the corner garage... the baker who brought you bread... the gardener who cut your lawn... the clerk who sent your phone bill.

I was an Army private... a Naval commander... an Air Force bombardier. no man knows me... no name marks my tomb, for I am every Australian serviceman... I am the Unknown Soldier.

I died for a cause I held just in the service of my land... that you and yours may say in freedom... I am proud to be an Australian.

--From the ANZAC Day website


Now... on top of all of this, you will probably understand my UTTER Disgust at the desecration of the War Memorial in Bathurst by some pimply arsed teenage girl. I found out today that it is actually a chargable offence - and she is to face court next month. May she be sentenced to listening to war stories by Returned Servicemen for hours on end while polishing their Victoria Crosses, or Defense Medals.

2 teeth + 1 lip x 1 fall = lots of blood.

Tara has two holes in her top lip. One has stopped bleeding.. the other is just dribbling a little. And now she has a fat lip.

She tripped over with a mouthful... but do you think she would let that food leave her mouth? not at all!!!

Facing the demons in my womb (and my head)

We are planning to have another baby. Once the wedding rolls around, it's game on.

I am looking forward to the pregnancy, and listening to my body more - and being PROactive in the pregnancy, rather than REactive, as I was last time. I kinda took a back seat and just let it all happen. This time I want to be the experience, rather than just a part of it.

I am, surprisingly, looking forward to labour again. There are times, even with everything that went on, that I remember riding the contractions, getting in the zone, and just working with them. I am proud of myself for those moments.

The thing is, I am scared, petrified even, of concequences. Of making the wrong choice, and living with what happens. I am scared of birthing at home. I am scared of not birthing at home. I am scared of going to a birth centre, or going to labour and delivery. I am scared of pressure, of expectations - both my own, and other people's. I want to make the right choices, but how can I do that, when I don't even know what they are?

I don't want a repeat c-section, and realistically that means I really should not go to hospital at all, but I am not certain that homebirth is for me. Or if homebirth really is, I am anxious that I will not find the right midwife for me because we are limited by such choice! It's not easy to pick and choose if there are only one, two or three options!!

I am scared that I'll fail. That I'll fail this test of motherhood. I know that giving birth in itself is not a test, nor a measure of my abilities to be a mother, or even womanly. But I *want* the vaginal birth more than anything. I see it, I visualise it. I become it. Though I did all that last time, and look where it got me!

Was Tara's birth tainted by emotional blocks? Was it internal struggles that kept her from entering the normal way, the way women have birthed for centuries? Were the people in attendance the reason I could not let go and just let her come? If they were, who would I have come next time? I know I needed feminine energy, but who would I Have instead? Maybe I really needed Ally more, but did not know how to bring that need out? Maybe I needed him less and wished he was not there at all (is that wrong?)

I am stuck in this rutt of thinking I'll not get an *acceptable* birth... unless it is an intervention free waterbirth where there was no pain only orgasm and fireworks.... may be a little hard to bargain for ;)

This will be my last child.. I can't screw it up. And that's how I feel at the moment. I don't want to short change her and myself.. I already feel as though Tara and I were short changed in the birthing experience - but at least in the parenting I have had one on time time to nurture her through everything. Child number two is forever to be the second child.

ARGH. my head hurts.

Siobhan!! :P

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next three sentences in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't dig for your favourite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.
6. Tag five other people to do the same.


Since, however, hospital deliveries are almost the rule these days, our object is to make the birthplace as much like home as possile. To make the prospective mothers feel at home, we show them around the unit and introduce them to the midwives and assistants who will be present at the delivery. Further, we encourage them to come back as often as they like, and we've designed a whole series of weekly events to interest them in coming. -- Birth Reborn, Michael Odent.

Tag: Stacey, Rae, Nic, Michelle, Belinda

Digging my ear-drum out with a fork...

That's what I wanted to do last night.

Confession: I love bad TV. In admiting this I also admit to watching COPS last night. Not so bad, I know - but my god....! if you look at my post a few back where I was talking about "Good Job" you'll understand the title of this entry. HOW MANY TIMES COULD THEY SAY IT IN 5 MINS?!!! It drove me insane. It is SOOOOO condesending... It's like patting a dog on the head. Insane. I guess it goes back to the unconditional parenting stuff I was asking about the other day. I just need to stop with the Good Girls... though I must admit I am getting better!

Everyone, welcome a new stalk...er um... visitor of my blog - Anjella... (say: ANGELA kristie!!). My uber cool and funky photographer has ducked her head in... *waves*

Talking of photography... I have been thinking of some must have shots. I have a running commentary in my head of what I want taken on the day. Some are wishful thinkings (like Ally and I walking the dapple grey horse who is being ridden by Tara).. but some I really want. Don't fret Anjella, I'll hand you a list ;)

*Back of my dress
*Back of my hair
*Veil blowing in the wind (it is going to be a cathedral length veil)
*Detail shots of the dress
*Detail shot of the shoes (this will be extra cool if I have blue shoes!)
*Detail shot of the bouquet and the charms on the bouquet (am having charms and flowers representing those who have passed before the day)
*Picture of Mum, Tara and I...
*Picture of the Bridal party walking along the road being followed by all the guests
*Parasol Pictures
*Fancy pics of the Stationary including Invites: mental note - have an invite on hand

err... I am sure I will think of more as time goes on.

I am in a real wedding mood at the moment. I am hoping to make a fascinator tomorrow. I have feathers that match my fabric perfectly... and lots of crystals to play with. Yay.

I need toothpicks to keep my eyes open at the moment. Girlie Girl kept me awake last night. I am hoping I can get some extra sleep tonight!! Soooo tired!!!

Um... I am currently working doing some graphics stuff, so am going to sign off. Toodles for now

What the psychic said...

I thought I had better do this post so that I do not forget later on down the track.

I visited a card reader at the Royal Easter Show (classy eh?!). She did a 4 month forcast for me. Ruby listened in too. Below is in point form some things she said.

*I will clean out all of my clothes that I cannot fit, but hold onto. It was strange I held onto so much stuff - Saggitarians are usually not hoarders - they prefer a cleansing space. Room to move

*I will come into some money. Buy a ticket in the lotto. The one with the cat. Do that once a week for a couple of months.

*I need to speak to a lawyer/finiancial counsellor/taxman/someone with money

*There is a wedding on the horizon (duh!). Lots of wedding stuff around me

*My man is lovely, beautiful, gentle. He loves me beyond what he can say (*gush*)

*Not many people understand our relationship, but they appreciate it (this is written into my wedding service a little)

*There may be a fire in the kitchen/lounge area of our house

*We will need to move due to renovations. The landlord may or may not help us move. We will do so because we cannot stand to be in the house while the renovations are occuring

*there is a child, er will be a child... (she changed from past tense to future tense. I think she honestly changed because she assumed we did not have a child because we are getting married - but I think she picked up on the "children" side of things) and that one is on the near horizon...

*I need to stop borrowing from Peter to give to Paul (her direct words and something I do ALL the time! I am so bad at it!!)

*I need to stop worrying so much about money - everything will be ok.

*There are some friends I need to cut out of my life. They don't care about me the way I want to care about them. I am holding onto smoke rings.



Err... I'll update this post more as I remember stuff...

I am not ignoring you all!

I am not ignoring you all, however Ally's new fandangled spam filter stole my blogger comment alert emails...

I have instructed Ally to tell off his Spam Filter, and to cease such nastiness.

Remind me to buy him a watch...

... oh that's right, he got one for fathers day...!

I asked specifically this morning what time he was going to be home... and would he be home late... What did I consider late? I dunno - tell me a time... 6, 7, 8?? 8 is late he says... and he said he would not be late. at 5.30 I spoke to him, he would not be too long... Spoke to him at 8ish... was leaving now....

It is 10 to 10... dinner is still at least 10 mins away (he is picking it up)... I have resorted to feeding the girl the only veg we have in the house (brocoli and cauliflower with some mayo on top) because she is starving and it was the only food available. She is exhausted but we were hanging out waiting for papa.

To say I am pissed off is an understatement. I would not be surprised if I am hormonal and mixed with hunger is not going down well.

ugh.

A week! A week!

Oh my golly gosh... a whole week has gone by without me posting! what is the world coming to?!

Friday last week my best friend Ruby came to visit. While she was here we

*went shopping
*went shopping
*went to the show
*went shopping
*went to SAP
*went shopping

It was loads of fun to have her here and I love her to pieces.

I bought underwear for my wedding which is just lovely. Now I need to find a pair of sucky-inny knickers to pull in the bit of baby flubber that hangs down under the corset! doh.

I got some brooches for the bridesmaids which match the dresses perfectly.

I ran through many ideas with her about the wedding and think she helped out loads. Though I still could have done with an extra weeks with her ;)


Tara had a playdate with Harriet on Thursday, while we (the mothers) drank copious amounts of coffee. Mmm. Coffee!

I have been listening intently to Tara's language skills this week and even though we don't understand what she is saying, she definately has words! Jack, Shoes, Hi, Hello, phone... I think these are words she has. I just gotta listen harder...

Tara and I are going to a High Tea today. Over indulging on chocolate! whoo! though she might just get a cupcake!

I cannot find shoes for the wedding. I know exactly what I want... but do you think there is a pair out there?! noooo... I need champagne/gold satin shoes with a peeptoe and ankle straps... I can decorate them myself if needed - I just need the basic shoe!

er... posting this now as I keep walking away and forgetting what I am writing! oops

I don't need my kidneys, right...?

What does a kidney infection feel like?

I have been in pain since early this morning. I feel blergh.

I don't remember ever having had a kidney infection... I have had UTIs before, I think - when it burns when you pee - but that's not it.

My waist, at my back has been ACHING... throbbing... slight nausea here and there... it feels terrible. I mean, it's not like I am dying of pain, but it's been constant since about 6am.

ugh.

Stop and smell the ro... er Waterlilies!

I found the owner of the wonderful bouquet pictured back a few posts. She kindly shared her detaild quote with me.. this is what is in it...


A very natural, uncontrived teardrop bouquet using sculptural clusters of flowers. To include varieties such as white phaelonopsis orchids with a brown tongue, brown Singapore orchids, creamy pink waterlilies, pink shell antheriums and pink peppercorn berries (or rice flower if unavailable) and vine. To be approximately 25cm wide x 40cm long.

How fantastically cool that someone is lovely enough to share the exact details of their bouquet..?!

I have decided I want Rosemary added into the bouquet for Rememberance...
I think I will have three roses in there too.. Lagerfeld if I can find one, and two others - one for Nanna and One for Granddad.

*bounce*


And even more exciting - Ruby is coming to visit - picking her up from the airport tonight!

Words!

Ok, so Tara is slowly gearing up to talking in a "well-be-able-to-understand-her-words" kind of way.

She says Mamma a lot, and Dadda a fair bit. She says mummummummummum when she wans something... Gah! if she is exclaiming something... etc.. she has words, just not entirely understandable.

Well the other night arrived her first word that was mimicked from us, understood by her and then understood by us once she repeated it. What was this miraculous word you ask?

djah!

That's not a word I hear you say. Ahhhh.. but to us it is... It is JACK. Jack is the name we gave her almost-shoplifted doll from the second hand store. She decided she needed him, and walked out of the store. Luckily I had change and just gave it to the people behind the counter!

Jack goes to many places now, and he is the first male doll we have. So we gave him an easy name - Jack. (unlike her first special doll - Esmerelda! haha.).

So "DJAH!" means Jack. And she says it a fair bit now. So I have decided I need to listen to her vocab words a bit more and see if there are other things I can understand but have not yet Heard.

Wheee... talking!

The case of the missing card reader...

... or how Kristie has a meltdown over not being able to upload pictures!


arrrgh. Tara took off with the card reader the other week. I took it off her and moved it to a safe place. But I don't know where?!

And I have an SD car full of pictures I want to upload!!!

Waaaaaaaaah!

The art of being a Parent..

Can someone let me know?

I understand that the whole bribing/timeout/etc is not always desirable, and can be negative... but can someone please spell it out for me.

I hate the terms "Good Girl" and "That's Naughty" coming from either my mouth or the mouths of others towards other kids (or to Tara)... but I don't understand why these get to me - other than it sounds like we are talking to dogs!

I know I could post this topic on AB, but I have a few people who read my blog would would be interested in any replies given.. :)

Cass, I know you probably have a lot to say on this ;) so I am looking foward to anything you can point my way.

Viewing the Blog...

Is anyone having difficulty seeing this blog other than my sister?

She can't see the entire right hand side of the blog... is this occuring for anyone else? If so, can you please state your browser and computer type for the record :)

Cephalo-pelvic disproportion

Cephalo-pelvic disproportion is a phrase I hate. TRUE CPD is *very* rare.. very very... (though I admit it does happen)... But it is used as a *reason* for women to get sections. or for OBs to get sections... and women who are told they have CPD often go for further sections because they belive their obs have their best interests in mind. They trust their care providers! They feel their bodies do are not fit to birth a baby naturally!

Women are being set up to fail and it hurts me to know this.

I was told I had CPD and then when an EXPERIENCED OB looked at my charts he said it was a load of bollocks.

Wedding Favours!

Well, we have decided on the wedding favours! I just need to find them at a price in my budget and a place that has good shipping rates. Very exciting! They are perfect.

I am hoping to get them in silver, but black or white would do.

Yippee!

Tales of the street...

A car was broken into tonight.

Our car had someone write their name all over it with their finger in the condensation. Thank god it was not a key this time. She lives across the street - but was so jacked up on grog even me asking her to remove her cup of beer from our bonnet had her in my face screaming ready to knock me down.

Strange that the car broken into had a cup ring mark and spilt beer on the passenger dash.

And one on it's bonnet - the same as what she just put on our car.

She said she was in the stolen car trying to stop it hitting our neighbour's car (which it did)... So she openly admitted to being in the car, while buttering up the elderly neighbour saying how great she was at trying to protect her car.

Dob someone into the cops in this street and you are dead/targetted/hurt etc. And it's not as if you can say to the cops "Hey! those kids, sitting over there watching us being all nice, jacked this car... but they are being really nice to us now and we don't want to be the target of more trouble"

I hate this suburb.

I want to move.

May Karma come and bite their arse!

We just got back from a lovely walk only to discover our entire car has been vandalised. I got my jumper out of it before we left but did not see in the dark what had been done.

Keys have been taken to the front window, the driver's window, the bonnet, the doors, the boot. They have completely ruined the pain and the glass.

It is a mess.

This follows on from the window being smashed in a couple of months ago. They have it in for us.

I have been told that there were lots of people next door at 3 am last night... but no witnesses to our car.

I doubt Ally will call the cops because the cops cannot do anything.

Fuckers.

I am so upset. I just want to leave Sydney. Get away. Find somewhere were at least our belongings will be somewhat left alone.

How can we sell our car now (our plan sometime in the next 12 months) and upgrade a bit... we just lost out probably a $1000 in value!

Fuckers!!

I just want to hurt someone. I feel so unsafe here now. How can I raise my child here?!!

I am so distraught, yet I cannot even cry.

Random Images of Tara

I have been going over some of the pics I have of Tara.. anyways here is a collection!












And a pic for Amanda that I promised a long time ago....!

It's all about the image, darhlink!

OK... so I am working on an image/monogram/both at the moment for the - *gasp* - wedding.

here is one of them...



I have posted the other one I have created...

I really like the whole swirly decorative bit - but not sure on the having-our-full-names bit. I'd love an actual monogram with our initials that I can use to have engraved onto a couple of gifts for Ally on the day.




Tara is *finally asleep*... it's only taken 7 hours!!!

Responses to Comments..

Liisa, you need to send me your LJ details again LOL

This wedding is going to be very us... it's just trying to decide what "us" is.

Classic, Vintage, Historical - matches into gothness a bit - Ally will bring some of that in with what he is wearing... There will be a bit of yuppiness just for him too!

The flowers - I don't know exactly what I want... I love the contempary aspects of the orchid one - and the berries - I actually think that one is a silk bouquet ;) The wedding was going to be based around the blue singapore orchids, but now I am not sure...

We are looking at candles for centrepieces - with sparkles/crystals/glass... black pebbles possibly. Silver grey chair sashes - if we have sashes... with maybe black table runners...

Lots of DIY, because that is very me - I also like pleasing people, and making them feel comfortable and welcome - hence the little touches I want to do - like make my own invites and provide water and gifts for people... just not sure where to go with that LOL



Oh... quick poll... what lollies do people like? :)

Run for cover, it's a posting rampage!

Yes, I know, you're all falling over in shock with the amount of posts. That, or have permanantly decided to reject my blog due to the brainwashing-wedding-shite that is occuring. Apologies either way!

Having said that, guess what - more wedding stuff!

This first pic is a whole lot of hair inspiration. images have been sourced from various websites/photographers/brides and copyright remains that of the photographer. The two middle pics belong to Anjella (my photographer).

This next lot of pics are inspiration for my bouquet... I really want a cascading/waterfall bouquet - loose and free flowing... large but not heavily burdened with flowers. I want blues and creams and white...



Having said that though, I am in love with this bouquet... I think it is devine. Image posted on the I-do forums...



I am wondering if I still really want the blue singapore orchids... I want loose flowers, feminine flowers, not really a roses person (though Might ask for there to be one rose - a Lagerfeld - as a link to Bill).. I adore orchids and lilies, lisianthus and tigerlilies, orientals really... but since I am having a vintage theme, maybe I should look more into having a few extra roses... maybe David Austin ones... I have been wondering if the blues are really the right colours. I mean, I know the bridesmaids are in blue, but for the flowers I mean. I am in love with Burgandy Singapore orchids, and they would go great with Ivories and creams (the colour of my gown...)

I don't want to be too "normal" with my wedding stuff... so maybe I should just be bold with berries and dodder vines and large orchids.... argh!

(This is where I once again defer to you guys for help!)

Sample invitation

OK.. I am on a role today, please find below a sample wedding invitation using one of the fonts from the previous list...



does that look ok with that font...? It is the same font used in the "Our Wedding" button on the right.

Font Ideas and such.

Because Amanda asked (regretting it yet?!)




and here is the monogram idea being worked ont

The Showbags...

Juniper asked in my previous post about Showbags at the wedding.

A "showbag" for the wedding is a giftbag for your guest of things they might need on the day. This may include, but may not be limited to the following

*order of service books
*Water
*Tissues
*Fans
*Nibblies
*Thankyou Note
*Mints
*Rice/Confetti/Biodegradable-throwing-stuff suitable for your venue
*bubbles

Because I am having an outdoor ceremony the idea of fans is very appealing to me because they look cool, but not sure if I would. Will definately be having water provided, possibly tissues... that might be it.. Dunno. I don't want to go overboard, and I know it probably sounds like I am, but I have lots of interstate and international guests invited and some things they might not remember/think to bring. I want them to be comfortable and enjoy their time. Because I am being married in botanical gardens I need to find out what guests are allowed to throw at us, or if their is limitations. If there are limitations I will be providing the correct stuff for guests too...

It's all up in the air. but they look very pretty (showbags that is) all done up.

Here is an example provided by Danimezza

First Major Countdown milestone.

6 months until our wedding.

That's what my ticker just told me.

6 MONTHS!!

*I need to order the new dress this month- but don't have all the money - need to see if mum will pay for it on the card, and allow me to pay her back in installments!
*I need to book a celebrant.
*I need to find a celelbrant first!
*I need to decide whether to have seating at the ceremony or not (major bone of contention in the house - helpful ideas accepted here ladies!)
*I need to finalise the monogram
*I need to decide if I am having showbags at the ceremony
*I need to work out if I need fans for the ceremony
*We need to work out if we are having a handfasting (I really want this)
*I need to buy shoes before I buy the dress so I can have it made to measure. Thank the heavens I have a fabric sample
*I need to sell my old dress to help buy the new dress
*I need to work out reception decorations for tables and chairs. Need photo of table and chairs from reception venue
*I need to work out what font to use in the invites
*I need to print, make and send the invites
*I need to book hair and makeup trials
*I need to write the ceremony (half done I think)
*I need to find out if my third bridesmaid is definately coming
*I need to send said bridesmaid her dress
*I need to take a breath
*I need to get my brother to make me some love words (once I have worked them out - ladies? suggestions? Love, Admire, Cherish, Dream, etc?)
*I need to make Tara's Dress
*I need to send the photographer's details to Dad
*I need to contact the cake lady again and try and work out whether we can afford her and decide how important the really expensive but pretty cool looking cake is..
*I need to order a cake topper
*I need to decide if I am having and Aisle and who is walking me down it... Dad? Mum? Both? My Dad and My Brother? Should my brother walk my mum down the Isle? (her boyfriend will be playing music for the precessional)...
*I need to find a jeweller who will not screw me around and will make me a ring cheap
*I need to not need so much....!!!!!


Then there are the small things like, how important are wedding favours really? And, how formal or informal do we want to make things...? and Where can I find proper waterproof pararasols that look vintage and are really really cheap?!

I think I might fall over looking at that list. There is a lot more to go on it. I am just feeling nauseous looking at it. I really need to pull my finger out and do some wedding stuff. I've really done nothing for ages!

argh!

And, as a final note... my previous post... Discovered Tara is teething as well as feeling sick... argh. making me feel doubly guilty for not wanting to be touched, but I can't help feeling sick myself!!! :(

Screaming!

My child just deleted the post I was halfway into writing. Why can't she learn not to touch my fricken mouse?!!

We are both feeling shite. She just wants to hold me, I can't stand her touching me. I can't stand her screaming at me. I want her to go and watch TV and stop whinging.

I know this is unreasonable, so before anyone starts commenting en-masse, stop. I'm just having a woe-is-me moment. I am tired and grumpy. Possibly hormonal, and as my post-that-she-deleted-five-seconds-prior would have attested to, stressing over some wedding bits and pieces.

wahh wahhh wahhhh. Why won't she just go to sleep?! (without the boob in her mouth and let me put her down asleep once she does fall)... she was asleep before but refused to let me put her down.

And while I am ranting, what the hell is it about babies fonding the other breast while feeding. It's enough to drive me insane and stop breastfeeding (I am not going to but I swear I am loosing it). I cannot stand her touching the other boob, but every fucking feed!! I remover her hand, tell her not to touch, explain I do not like it, get her to hold something else... the works. Nope. It occurs the next feed, and the feed after... and the feed after that. It disturbs me beyond anything.

ARGH!

A mice day at the show? Maybe not.

Oh Rats! It wasn't really that mice/nice of a day. I mean, it was fantastic and great as far as the public were concerned - but from an organiser's point of view lots of things went up the creek - and we left the padddle at home.

To start with, we had issues at security. Not just us as officials, but EVERYONE entering the site with animals had problems. Dog people, horse people, rat people. You name it. The poor co-ordinator of the domestic animals was coping complaints left and right.

Then we had issues with the printer - which delayed printing of certificates until 4.30pm (that is when we were meant to be presenting the awards!).

At 9am when the welcome speech was being given it was realised that we were missing 4 very important trophies!! Had to have them ordered, engraved and delivered to the showgrounds by 4pm. I picked these up at 4.15!

We unfounately had animals make it through vetting while being infectious, inhabited (by parasites), or being obviously ill. This was a big issue. Numerous animals should not have made it onto the judges table (where they were promptly disqualified and then put into quarantine).

There were numerous other things that happened, including template problems with the certificates, but all in all the awards were given out and people had an ok day. One issue that occurred though (which really got to me) was that one exhibitor took home most of the awards. Now, I don't care so much about that - good on her for having the best animals on the day... the thing that annoys me the most however is that her entry costs were capped - she entered X amount of animals, and only payed $YY amount of money. And yet, she walked home with about $YYY value of trophies, not to mention what the Easter Show gave us (each trophy probably worth around $100 or so)... Next year, I think people either pay their fee without discount, or don't enter that large number of animals. It's just not fair on Jack or Jill Smith. Well. That's my thoughts.

In other show-stuff. Tara was the key attractions, attracting top scores from all admirers. Everyone just wanted to award her Number Uno. It even helped when she decided she wanted to play in the cat cages (about 60 x 60cm). She thought that was the most fun ever.

And she once again adored the fireworks. Last year was the first year she ever saw fireworks. One year on and nothing has changed. Bless.

Please hold that thought...

... and come and post it again when I have the comments function up on the blog working again.

In my haste to have the design up, I missed that little detail...

Sling it to me baby!

I have stuck my camera back together using Magic Tape (TM)

And so have some photos for a change! WHOO HOO!

Tara with Annie in her pretend wrap/ring sling...

WIP

This new blog design is a work in progress... please bare with me as we go through teething... *passes Teething Relief*...


This blog entry brought to you by the letters W. I. and P...

Sponsored by Brauers Teething Relief. ;)