Lots of sighs

I wanted to write a big post, apologise for not being here for my dear blog, to tell the world I was still alive. Record some things about Tara, how she is growing and beautiful and the funny things she does.

Instead I want to cry, hide my head in a bucket and pray my child sleeps all night and that I can sleep in.

She's got the Pox, and while they are not bugging her, she's still sick and we are still stuck in a house for two weeks.

I know this will pass but I am feeling fragile and upset and I just want to run away tonight.

Hormones are playing a big part (Ovulation anyone?) but I don't really care much. Ok, I do, but not that much.

I miss a particular friend lots (waves to C) and her wisdom and guidance.

I am sick of listening to Hoop-de-do it's a wiggly party (doing my head in!!!)

Anyways. enough of me whinging. I am sure I'll have stuff happier to blog about in the future.

Much love to you out there.

K.

PS: we now have 6 fish.

Learning the Tarot

I am attempting to learn the Tarot at the moment. I need to learn the cards, and I will get there slowly, but at the moment I am asking the cards questions every now and then - dealing out cards (the number of cards is the first number to pop into my head), and then I use my special book to understand what the cards say.

Not technically the right way to do it, but I figure it's best to listen to the cards and my heart - 'cause that way I will get a better reading. At least, that's my reasoning and I am sticking to it for now!

I just asked the cards a simple question. Will I get my Homebirth?

The Star, The World, Strength.




For those who are in the know, care to elaborate?

For me I see it as this.

The Star: A positive card. New life, Faith, Hope.
The World: Finished, completion, End of a Cycle, Success and Fulfilment
Strength: Courage of Convictions, Full of heart, Desire, triumph, inner power

(these words are all taken from the book - I'm just drawing of the powerful words)

Not bad, eh?

Recent cards have said I'll have a Girl (complete opposite of Tara, and I had a vision of her that night - black hair and quiet... !) This is also weird as I have had really strong boy vibes for the last couple of months...

She'll have something to do with Aries (conceived or born?) and Pluto.. (pluto is a hard one, other than Pluto is in a year of change over at the moment and is back in the Sagittarian zone briefly next month on the Pisces and Aries cusp)

Um... and I did another card spread recently that quickly deciphered said that there is a bit of a journey (have I done that already, or is that to come?) until we get our next baby, but it will definitely happen and will be perfect.

Hippy much?

Domestic Goddess in Training

I am baking.

*gasp*

Yup. Proper baking even. Not a packet mix to be seen. I found a recipe on the Wide Web, and thought - that looks simple enough. I even have the ingredients (ok, so I went looking for a recipe that would fit my ingredients - including the singular egg in the fridge).

So I am making Banana Bread. Mmm. I hope it works. It smells good. Though that could be the tablespoon or so of cinnamon I dropped into the bowl. Or the Cardamom I put in first mistaking it for the cinnamon. (Doing well, aren't I!). Oh. And I put in 3 bananas because I am sure that's what the recipe called for (it called for two). So I could have a very wet sludgy loaf of bread because there is too much banana and not enough egg. And an extra teaspoon of baking powder.

I can hear you all laughing at me now!

Let's hope it works. It looks yum. smells yum. I just want it to taste yum.

February 13 - Sorry Day

Today is Sorry Day. The day the Australian Prime Minister said sorry to the Stolen Generations of Australian Aborigines, to their culture, to the elders, to the brothers to the sisters. A day where, as a nation, we all came together to remember the atrocities carried out in the name of our great country.

As one of the Redfern Aboriginal Men said

"This morning it rained - The tears of mourning the past. This afternoon it shines, the start of a bright tomorrow" (or something close! I lost part of it with the huge uproar of cheering)

It was very profound though.

And very moving.

Let us hope the tears never stop, and the sun never hides. We need to remember the past, and always strive for a brighter future.

I am so in love - I want for Tara's Room!

OK.. I made the mistake of going onto Etsy earlier. Anyways, I found an artist who I am in love with. Totally and unashamedly! I am going to have to save some pennies to buy some art. I think I wany 5 prints to hang on Tara's wall... $75US though... eep! I'll have to save some pennies... and then decide which ones I like.

So without further Ado... please go and visit Gorjuss! (this is the blog link - you can get to etsy from there!)

Suggest to me ones I should buy!

Birthing Dreams

It would be no surprise to some of my readers (all 4 of you!) that I sometimes have very vivid birthing dreams. Well, I had another one the other night and it was the most beautiful dream.

I thought I would share it with you.

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We are in the car, overseas somewhere because we are driving on the wrong side of the road. It is a freeway, but as I look out the window there is no traffic on the left side of the road coming towards us. The right side of the road was packed however and traffic was moving very slowly. Horns were blowing, people were cursing and there was anger floating like smog over our heads. I looked down the road and saw there was a lady walking towards us down the center of the freeway.

I got out of the car and walked towards her. She was a beautiful indian lady dressed in a sari of earthy tones. She would have been about 30, however she had grooves and wrinkles and lines across her face from the life she'd already walked. She'd had a hard life - she was beautiful, full of character and experience. We came face to face and I asked her what the trouble was. She said she did not know. I watched her face grimace. You are in labour, I told her. She reached for me with the next contraction and we knelt down on the ground together. We sat their silently. The traffic was still banked up and there was still abuse streaming around us. Her contractions were coming so thick and fast, but she barely made a sound.

Suddenly she looked into my eyes - deeply with her beautiful black pools and we were connected, and we were locked together. She reached for my hands and our fingers interlocked. She was kneeling up high, and pulling on my hands. I was pulling back to give her counter-action. Suddenly her sari stared moving. I reached down and felt under her robe and found the baby had been birthed. I grabbed the woman's hands and helped her lift up her baby. A chortling gurgle came from the child as it was place against her mother. You have a baby girl, I said. She looked at her daughter and the air suddenly felt clear. The traffic started moving, the sun came out and the little girl nuzzled for her mother's breast.

She looked at me and said thank you before using my shoulder as a balance to stand. She bowed her head in thanks and slowly walked down the road with her baby.

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So that was it. I woke up here, or at least cannot remember any more.

Does anyone care to decipher it for me? I have my own theories on it, which I will share in another post - but I want to hear if anyone else can read into this beautiful magical dream

Domestic Goddess Challenge #2

Do not doubt yourself.

Even when you think you are doing a crap job, but are definately trying do not let other people get to you. My mother said something last night on the phone to me about cleaning the house and I felt about an inch tall. I am SERIOUSLY trying to get my house in order, so the fact that a comment was made almost set me back to doing nothing.

I need to lift up beyond that.

So, here are some tips for the week ahead

When decluttering, if you have to think more than 3 seconds on whether you want it, you don't - so throw it out!

Be Bold and ask for help! If it feels too big, maybe it is. Some fresh eyes might benefit you here.

Take note of other people's houses and take something away with you as how they live their lives. It could be the way they sort their washing, to the way they have their crockery in the cupboard! Every house has a tip! You just need to see it.

Ikea is your friend. They know how to declutter and use space in their designs. Everything is functional. Take note of their lessons (I am yet to go there - Ally believes it is the most evil place on the planet!)

So... who do my top tips go to?

Kate at Picklebums for reminding me about Ikea
Casso for her tip on doing the arm sweep every time you pick up something from the floor. Oh, this is a good one that I MUST practise!

Here you go ladies!

Go and see Kylie!

http://littlebirdbluedesigns.blogspot.com/

I know Kylie from one of the forums I frequent and have followed her beautiful crafts for a while. Well, now she has a blog! And a business and website all up and running.

I urge you all to visit her, 'cause I think her stuff is fabulous!

The pain! The PAIN!

I found muscles I never knew existed today. And boy do they hurt now. I did a belly dancing introductory class and can I just say - OW!

I enjoyed it immensely! it was SO GOOD! But I suck at it. Sometimes it would be nice to have some natural physical ability (I sucked at sports too!). I don't think I was the worse in the class though - not that I was comparing or anything.

Belly dancing is all in an attempt to get me in better physical shape and prepared for another baby, and to have my hips and pelvis ready to turn a posterior baby, settle a breech, ease labour and use movements to speed it up. Whether it works will be a question best left after the next kidlet arrives though!

In the mean time I could do with a really really hot shower. And maybe a CD to practice some more!!

Aunt or Child?

So, I'm either pregnant, or Flo's about to knock on my door. I am feeling restless, hormonal, wired, sleepy. My hands feel like they are shaking, but they are not moving at all. My eyes are sleepy, but want to dart around. I am feeling flat, and like I am going to cry at any moment.

In fact I did cry a tear (a single one, because I was too afraid of being embarrassed!) when the lady at McD's (just shhh!) confirmed that indeed there were no Mini M & Ms for a McFlurry, and in actual fact, she could not even give me a flake with my sunday. She could offer me Chocolate Sauce *barf!* but that was it. So I cried and fought the tears and sat down so no one could see me.

Let's pray it is baby hormones and not Aunt. I really really do not want it to be her.