Sickness...

So... I have been sick for at least about 28 days (according to me guessing when I got sick in regards to taking the pill).

The cough is now really really getting to me. Was tested for Whooping Cough last week, but have not heard back. Having had WC before, this cough is not as wet, nor as suffocating, but as I have been to two areas with Whooping Cough the last few weeks, who knows.

Doc does not think it is (hence - not Antibiotics)... and when asked if I should contain myself to the house he laughed, and said he *really* did not think it was... and I was fine.

Having said that, I really feel like I am half dead. Sigh.


Should not complain... someone I know has a brain tumour (x2)

Score!

Today I had some pocket money - so I went to the bookstore.

I came out with the following...

Parenting for a Peaceful World
Bach Flower Remedies for Women
Birth Reborn: What Childbirth Should be

For the grand total of $14.

PfaPW was all of $3... it was on sale for half the marked price... considering it retails for $30 or so... I think I did good.


If people want to buy me stuff... Spiritual Midwifery is on my most wanted list.. haha And the Birth Partner (Stace - gotta send yours back to you LOL as well as all your other books)



Tara cuteness:

She is crawling (properly now - not just inch-worming) but at the moment she has propped herself up on a box and is scooting around the floor on it.... ubercutiness.

Milkin' the old cow...

Whoot! *rejoice*

Tara knows the sign for milk!!

Loonies in the Boonies

Today I got on the bus and was having a great morning. The bus driver was talking to Tara and mentioned he and his wife were expecting early next month. I sat behind the driver 'cause he was friendly and kept talking.

Two stops later we pick up this woman who was loud and obnoxious to some people but I did not think anything of it.

The driver and I continue to talk. He was really interested in the sling I had tara in and asked where to get them. I told him I sold them, and got out my card. I gave it to him when we had stopped.

Then a woman behind us with a thick eastern-european accent starts telling me carrying a baby in summer gives them rashes and is bad for them. So I told her all the benefits and told her that a baby in a stroller can be so isolating and hard to read their signals. She kept having a go at me at this stage and felt offended that I would not use a stroller - her children were perfectly fine without being carried.

Then she has a think about it for a bit after I start talkiing to driver again and asks about bad backs. I say there are ones out there designed for bad backs. She asked for my card - so I gave it to her. She seemed a little converted even - became smiling and nice.

Bus Driver keeps talking to me and said he watched women all day every day struggling with their strollers and he really did not think they were great.

Obnoxious woman who got on the bus earlier is heard behind me having a go about talking to the driver and that I should leave him alone and not try to force myself and my products on him and just leave him to his job (talking to other passengers). I am getting flustered listening to her ranting... I try to not engage the driver in any more talk but being a new-dad-to-be is sooo excited he keeps going. I become a little curt with one or two word replies because the lady behind is muttering.

Get off the bus and driver wants to look at the sling quickly so I turn around to show him (as I get off the steps) he said thankyou so very much and beamed at me. I was feeling great.

As I start to walk the street this lady is looking at me, almost smiling and then starts into me.

"You should know better than to talk to the driver"
"He has other people to consider"
"Every time I see you you are selling stuff or talking" (WTF???!)
"You should think of other people on the bus"

I said to her, look, he started talking to me, I was being curtious, he asked me for my card. She was getting in my face and I told her to just "get over it lady" because I was starting to feel threatened. I walked past her faster and she was ranting behind me and was not leaving me alone. I had to move out of some people's way and she caught up to me still going on. I told her to back off... she keep going.

My voice dropped three octaves and I screamed "Just back off lady! leave me alone!" I was shaking, scared for me, scared for Tara. I thought she was going to assault me. She then saw a friend across the road, and waved, while threatening to call the cops on me (WTF?!) I went into the nearest cafe and needed to sit down, I was crying and almost hyperventilating. I was shaking so much. She was at the crossing for so long, outside the shop... I was so scared...

I got a coffee and just started crying with the shop assistant. then I left the cafe to go to the park to meet friends.

I've since been looking over my shoulder, scared to get on the bus, waiting for this woman to pounce on me again. She lives 1.5 blocks from my house...

ugh.

*sigh*

Two years, in a blink of an eye.

Today is a very special day, a little girl, with wild hair and a cheeky smile, turns two.

Two years ago I sat in an office on the computer MSNing away, when I get a message... "hehe. I think somethings starting". I was so excited for you. I had followed your pregnancy through right from the beginning. Finally bub was on the way.

For a couple of hours we chatted back and forth. The initial chat was fast and furious, but as the contractions built up you were needing time to focus and go through them.

"I think we are going to the hospital now". Wow. Things had really kicked up. For the rest of the day I sat twiddling my thumbs, thinking of you, sending my love, longing to hear the news.

Once I got hom that night, and had not had a phone call, I was a little scared for you. I sent all my love, hoping things were going ok.

I did not get a phone call for about 24 hours after Kira's arrival. By that stage, I was pretty certain you'd had a c-section. Jake sounded so exhausted on the phone when he confirmed the surgery. My heart sank knowing things had not gone to plan. I just wanted to hug you, tell you how great you'd been.

I got to talk to you online once you got home briefly, but being a new mother, time was never on your side.

Days morphed into weeks, into months. We'd go so long without talking, but could just pick up where we left off. Then I found out I was pregnant. You were such a guiding light to me. Such a role model. You gave me information, love and support while I researched everything I could.

Just after Kira's first birthday I came to visit. She was amazing. So calm, so beautiful and easy going. She was so happy! Watching her get her to her feet and stand was so cute and funny. I loved seeing the little person she was growing into. I loved seeing how the choices you had made had helped this beautiful girl turn out to who she was. These were often the same ideals I was hoping to live up to with my little one.

In November I had my own little girl and one of the first people I wanted to tell - or at least have the message passed onto - was you. I kept pestering Ally - Call Stacey! Call Stacey! When I got a phone call from you in hospital I felt so honoured you would take the time to call.

So hear we are now on Kira's second birthday. I just do not know where the time has gone.I see you posting photos, antics and day to day activities of her and think what a wonderful job you have done. It has not been easy for you, I know. I wish I'd been able to talk to you more, but being mothers - does not make it easy at times.

Today is not just about your beautiful girl - it is about you as well. About all the amazing milestones you have accomplished - how far you have come on your journey. The way in which you have stood strong and looked forward when so ofen many others would have thrown the towel in and given up. Your dedication, your perserverance, your love and your friendship - all of these have shined and radiated since you became a mother.

Most of all, I just wanted to say - Happy Birthing Day Stacey. You are amazing. Take some time for yourself. Cry, reflect and rejoice. You are a wonderful mother, and Kira is a testament to all you have accomplished and done.

xx

Credits: Faer Oak Brand New Day kit for paper, fibre, flowers, sequin. Metal Tag is Brand New Day kit Chris Turnbull, ric rac is Annette Farrelly - all from Pickleberry Pop!

Pffffffffft!

Belinda - I already peedonastick. It's not me. So it means it is someone else. Gotta think of all my fertility rich friends now...

I am guessing the person has to be about 6 weeks along for my spidey-sense to be so strong. That, or it is my sister - which it is not due to the lengths she is going to, to NOT be pregnant.

Little Miss Works-in-a-cheese-factory... would it be you?


Anyone got any tips for a constipated bub? Poor thing was screaming before trying to do a poo...

I need a nap

My "spidey-sense" is tingling.

Ok ladies. All of you who are hoping/thinking/wanting/trying to be pregnant - do a test. Someone I *know* online or in real life is pregnant. The only time I have been wrong in knowing a friend was pregnant was when I confused my spidey sense with it being me up-the-duff.

So go on...

Pee on a stick.

Wondered why there were no replies

wondered why no one commented on my post called "planning" the other day....

turns out I only saved a draft - not publised it... oops

The kit! The kit! I see the kit!

Ooooh... someone has been a busy little beaver!



Click to download!

It's a bit of a mini kit I think, but I have had fun learning how to do stuff. Let me know what you think!

Dream a little dream.

You know how you can have some dreams that just hit your emotions and you feel every part of it as if it was as real as anything? I had one last night.

I don't remember all the details... we were at preschool/primary school for some reason - not sure what. The kiddies had gone to lunch I think, and Ally and I were in the classroom preparing food. He gave me a present. I opened the beautiful card first, and in it is a calendar of the rest of this year, and 2007. My birthday in 2007 was circled and had hearts around it. I looked at him and said "what's this?" He looks at me and says "That is the day we will be getting married". I catch my breath, I feel the tears welling. My heart feels as though it is going to explode. The next thing I am opening the present. It is a beautiful diamond ring. He puts in on my finger.

Next we are on the playground acting like love sick teenagers running around. It was beautiful. Then I start thinking I have imagined it all. I run back into the class room and I am looking for the baby food that was being prepared while we were in there prior. Someone is using the microwave. I have to stop them, because the jars of pumpkin have recorded the fact that Ally proposed to me. SOmeone mixes two jars together, and the recording is lost. And now I am not sure if he asked me to marry him any more.

And then I wake up/or that is all I can remember.

I can still the emotions of when he said "that is the day we are getting married"

damn bloody hormones/dreams/illogical thoughts ;)

Oooh.. Tag, you're it!!

Oh look! I have been tagged!!

Ok, here goes...

1. One book that changed your life: To Kill a Mockingbird. It was one of the first books I truly read into, studied, understood and appreciated. Harper Lee IMO was just brilliant.

2. One book that you've read more than once: By the River Piedra I sat down and wept (Paulo Cohelo). This book resonates with me on so many levels. Not just about the christianity, because I think it goes way beyond that. It is about rebirth, the love of a mother, the depth to which femininity reigns in our wold. And it is a love story like no other I have read.

3. One book you'd want on a desert island: The idiots guide to being stranded on a desert island.

4. One book that made you laugh: Daddy's having a horse.

5. One book that made you cry: oh... lots... um. off the top of my head though...? LOL.. brain malfunction!

6. One book that you wish had been written: The kiddie story in my head.

7. One book you wish had never been written: Babywise is a good start.. Maybe Tizzie Hall's stuff...?

8. One book you're currently reading: Only one? I have started about a dozen! NCSS, reading magic, children are people too.. etc.

9. One book you've been meaning to read: The Red Tent and the Continuum Concept

Targets in site - only doing three: Belinda (BHB), Iain (ok, you don't HAVE to :P), Siobhan

Planning.

At the moment I am on a quest to prepare myself for my journey ahead. I want to be able to write out a line of things to do - and prepare for them slowly.

I am already preparing for a few things. Trying to decide if that is the path I want to take. Research can be a good thing.

One of the things I have talked with Ally about is our next child. We will not be trying for a second until Tara is at least two. Well, the plan is for her to at least be two when the next arrives. though it is not as if we planned for -her- arrival! Anyways, I have been trying to work out where I would like to birth next time.

Considering what happened with Tara's birth, it is not surprising that hospital would be a likely choice. Though, how much of our experience was due to being in the hospital? Lots of stuff happened. Not limited to PROM, Posterior, infection, PPH. It all lead to an emergency cesearian.

So am I nuts for considering a homebirth? The more I read about it, the more I would love it. But would I be high risk? I would seriously consider the Ryde Midwifery Birth Centre, but to them (from what I have read) I am high risk and would not be taken (I do not believe they do VBACs).

I know that each birth is different, but is the likelihood of me developing anaemia a consideration? My levels dropped down very low (and likely related directly to the PPH). I guess if I knew about it earlier, I would have been able to boost my levels (found out at 38 weeks).

When I mentioned this to Ally in the car the other day, he was "sure, why not." very matter-of-factly. He would be fine with whatever is chosen. I just am not sure. Part of me is very terrified of a baby's heart tones dropping down to dangerous levels again. Then again - hospital is never far away if needed. I dunno. It is a lot to think about.

Lucky I have time.