So, it's been over a year...

It has been over a year since my last post and even though I have thought about blogging lots since then, I have not been sure whether I wanted to update THIS blog. But I figure it is easier than starting a new blog right at this moment - that can come later.

Tara is now 4. Can you believe it? I can't. Some days I look at her and she is my month old little baby, with chubby cheeks and a deep set dimple. And then I look at her and it is a glimpse through a looking glass to when she is 13 and off to high school. The other days it is her just being 4. Beautiful, glorious 4.

I was talking to mum tonight about how she has lost some of her baby fat through her face and shoulders this last month (thanks to a vicious dose of vomiting gastro), and how she looks so wonderfully energetic, and young, and vibrant.

She has a couple of obsessions. One she is slowly (hopefully) growing out of - and that is Pooh Bear. She has Pooh Bear doonas (yes, plural!), lamps, clocks, toys and lots of books. I am hoping this one is a passing phase, for while I do like Pooh Bear, I am a classicist at heart and wish that the Disneyified crap would go elsewhere.

Dance is still a major part of her life and she is very much a singing and dancing kinda girl. She loves doing dancing anywhere and everywhere, and gate crashing a busker in the street is one of her favourite pasttimes.

Her other major obsession is PONIES! Wow, does she love her ponies. Any pony toy, book, story.. you name it - she loves it. And don't get her started on the real things. She loves horse riding when she gets a chance (she has a ride coming up in a couple of weeks) and would love to do it every week. Not that we can afford to do so in the Sydney CBD.

And she's getting a mighty fine collection of My Little Ponies now - thanks to ebay and the grandparents!

She is going to preschool 2 days a week and has some lovely lovely friends there. And I'm even making some friends through the other mothers which is really nice. Unfortunately one of her Best Friends is going to be leaving in a month and I'll have to deal with that fall out. thank goodness she can't remember that her old best friend at preschool left her too.

We have made a decision where we are going to send her to school, which is a massive load off my mind. I hope to become part of the P and C over the next year to become a bit more familiar with the community and the school. I think it will be a good way for us to get to know the small community.

As for me, I am doing ok As you have probably guessed, I am still no pregnant. Still trying. Still not getting anywhere. I'd love to have another child, but I am beginning to loose faith in the whole process. My mental state is not doing great over it all, but I try no to dwell on it.

My business is going very slow, and I have not made much in the way of sales for a while. I hope with a change of business structure over the next couple of months that things might pick up again and I'll be able to actually make money instead of loosing it. Keep your eyes out though, it's a bit exciting.

I'm also just about to finish my Childbirth Educator Course. OMG. I am so excited that I might actually just finish this! I am on the tail end, hopefully will have it finished within the next month.

Ally is working lots and lots and lots, but that is hopefully going to settle down soon.

We've been to New Zealand, Perth, Victoria, Canberra in the last 6 months or so, which has been a massive dose of excitement. Hopefully we get to do some more travelling soon, it really is refreshing to the system.

Anyways. that's it for now. I'm going to TRY and do more posts. hoping hoping. fingers crossed

3 years today.

Happy Birthday Sweet baby - er - big girl!

You remind me every day now "I'm a big durl!" It wasn't so long since you were a little baby and then bam. You're holding conversations.

The last 6 months has seen you blossom so fast. It's almost as if I have turned around and someone new was staring at me. It's amazing the changes that have come forth. You can dress yourself, express yourself, marvel at your own achievements and make your own friends.

Your speech, while not the same as "other kids" is really developing and you can come out with some wonderful phrases.

"I am dood!"
"I am tire"
"I had a big sleep"
"She's my friend"
"Dat's my favourite (to everything you see!"
"I love you as big as a house!"
"Bugger"
"Shut Up"
"Oh, man!"

You love to do puzzles and to draw. Unfortunately you have your mother's creative chaos thing happening and move from one thing to the next very quickly leaving Tornado Tara in your wake.

You have some wonderful friendships forming and it is so lovely to see these happening without interference from Mummy or Daddy. There have been many tears when we have had to leave Sam, Hailey, Savannah... You have loved to join Matilda in the park and cannot wait to see Bella at school.

You have seen a new day care centre this year and have truly embraced it. Some new friendships, some new experiences and a real jump in your development. It's amazing to see you embrace puzzles now, so different from previously where you shied away. And painting! You never cease to amaze me with your artistic endeavours.

Some other random bits about you. You love Pooh Bear, your toy Kiwi (who must go to school every Friday), you sleep through the night, are toilet aware during the day and almost completely during the night and you love your food - Chicken and Rice is apparently on the menu every night!

I love watching you take in the world around you and reach out and be yourself. Not a mini me, not a mini daddy, but 100% you. You can throw a stomping fit to threaten even the most rebellious of all teens, slam a door like the best of them, and say things under your breath while storming out of a room. You put the term Threenager in the dictionary.

I love you to pieces and watching you each day is a blessing and an honour. You are beautiful, adorable and truly special.

My beautiful beautiful girl, I love you. Happy third Birthday.

My Birthday

It was my birthday the other day. I turned 28 (not afraid to share it! :D)

We went out for breakfast to a place in Darlington which was lovely. I had french toast with caramelised banana and bacon. Was scrummy.

I vegged at home all day until we were going out. I got dressed up and Ally took Tara and I too my dinner. When we got there I found Ally had secretly invited some very special friends who were all sitting at the table waiting for me. How lovely!!

It was at a japanese restaurant and was beautiful. A set meal of 6 courses. The stand outs for the night was the crab taco and the sake creme caramel. mwah. Beautiful.

This morning I am supposed to be packing because we leave in 4 hours and 20 mins. ARGH.

Really need to wash the dog.

Maybe (not) Baby.

Sometimes my body really confuses me. After my post the other day about Ovulating, charting and getting things wrong prior, It seems I may have just gotten it all wrong and may have ovulated earlier on in the month.

Feeling a little crampy and nauseous. Period crampy nauseous. I swear, if I get my period tomorrow I'll cry. I wanted a BFP (Big Fat Positive for those who don't understand) for my birthday. And a sewing machine. But more importantly I want that BFP. Really wanted to give Mum and Dad a card for Christmas announcing a new grandchild.

Guess that's not going to happen now.

Bah Humbug.

Happy Birthday Tara

3.37pm. That is the moment you took your first breath. And every moment since then, you have taken my breath away.

2 years on and you are so amazing, the way you help me see the world around us. Nothing is ever black and white any more. Everything is seen in a kaleidescope of toddler-coloured-glasses. Who knew that the lid on the bottle of water was THE most important part of having a drink. And did I really understand the consequences of folding up the dirty towel you were leaning on?

Your fiery personality sparks inside of me something so primal. The protection of my baby, who is no longer a little baby, but rather a little girl with the world in front of you.

Each day you surprise me with how girlie-girl you are. The fact you adore dressing up, putting on my shoes, or dad's boots and we cannot leave the house without spritzing mum's perfume or deodorant. Don't get me started on the lip gloss fanaticism.

You adore your babies and love to carry them, and feed them (breastmilk of course!). Your new "ergo" is going to serve a great purpose for you!

We still share our special moments of breastfeeding. Usually in bed, in the wee hours of the morning. You call out from your bed "mama.... mummay!" and reach out longingly into the cool morning hair aiming for me to lift you from your bed. We snuggle in and as I lay you on your tummy, you let go and go back to a peaceful slumber.

As we aim towards the next 12 months your dad and I hope to change our lives a little by the introduction of a new sibling. You've started taking and interest in babies, and have even started saying the word when you see them. Fascination has taken your hand, and hopefully, as you get bigger and understand more, you will welcome a new being into our lives.

So, on your second birthday, darling daughter of mine. I hope you have a wonderful day. Try not to scream at your dada and I too much, and maybe share a cuddle, an "I-am-super-cute-look-at-me" cock of the head, and if we are really lucky - blow us a kiss.

We love you with all of our heart and adore watching you grow and change and become such a beautiful loving little person.

We love you.

Happy Birthday.

It's so shiney!

Ok, so it is not an engagement ring...

but I am now the proud mama of an iPod Nano.

*pets*

it's so purdy.

Was woken up early to receive my pressie.. at the same time, bubbles slept in yay.

It has been a quiet day - but nice all the same.

All that hoopla!

So, Ally asked me what I want for my birthday. I said a Canon EOS or an Engagement ring.

I chose this ring years ago http://www.ejeweller.com.au/prod6674.htm and I still love the design so so so much.. but I noticed it comes in sapphire... http://www.ejeweller.com.au/prod6612.htm

I'd be happy with either... :D

My throat hurts. I hardly slept. Feeling quite shocking today actually!

I deconstructed a pair of bathers I bought at Reverse Garbage yesterday and made Tara a new swimming costume. My sewing leaves a lot to be desired *laughs* but I *love* it... I will take some photos one of these days - It's not quite finished. I need to decide if it is to stay a two piece or go to a one piece. I am leaning towards a one piece so that the bottoms do not fall off.

I need sleep.

Tara has gone with daddy for some more time. that's twice today. The two of us did not like each other.. spent the morning screaming at each other. I guess that comes from her teething and me not sleeping.