Eau de bebevomit II

Yes. The child be-eth sick again. :(

Doc visit says she's just got a virus and to keep giving small breastfeeds...




In other news.

I own this.

How nice would it be...

.... if people actually send their RSVPs into me.

I know a few people have told us directly they are coming, but it'd be nice to get the card back with a message.

This is not aimed directly at any of my blog readers ;) but none of you have sent me your cards either! :P 55c people!

Remember - I've still got breastfeeding brain, and we all know what Ally's brain is like ;)

So far, out of 27 invitations, I have three RSVP cards and one email, telling me the card is on its way (still has not arrived).

I'm a keepsakes girl! I like mementos. Scrapbooks of love and some such.

Some of this vent is light hearted (to my blog readers because I know you care a bit - you read the blog! :P) But some of this is a deeply hurt me running to the Post Office Box each day to find it empty.

Please send me your RSVP cards. Just to pacify me even!

Retail Therapy

I had to get some makeup stuff for the wedding today.

I had a look at David Jones and then went and had a look at Priceline. I knew the colour I wanted, but I thought I would test some more out.

After about an hour or so in Priceline I bought a lippy, mascara, some cheap eye shadow, a hair rinse and a hair colour.

I walked out and two seconds walk around the corner found a makeup store selling the EXACT SAME LIPSTICK for - get this - A THIRD of the price!!! I almost cried. They also had mascara - not the one I wanted, but same brand just different type. So I went back to Priceline, returned the makeup I just bought and went to the discount store and bought the following (with the money back from priceline!)

*Max Factor Lipfinity 10 hours colour stay - Desire
*Max Factor Lipfinity 10 hours colour stay - FLamboyant
*Maybelline Sky High Curves - soft black
*Loreal Crystal Infinite - Gold Dust
*Jordana Easy Liner - Black
*Jordana INcolour eyeshadow - Storm Watch
*Fake Toenails
*Glue
(and from priceline)
*castings creme gloss - medium brown
*Live Colour - Chocolate
*SAX cosmetics Stay On Colour Stick - Wine Kiss
*SAX eyes - Pear White


All for under $80.

Not bad huh?

Market Research

Ok mama's (and papas!)

I am doing some market research.... :)

if you would not mind could you please take some measurements of your children in nappies?

You can either comment here, or email me direct (info at designsbykristie dot com)


*Age,
*Weight,
*Rise (back to navel),
*Half rise (crotch to waist line),
*Waist,
*top of thigh/base of hip to waist,
*circ of top of thigh (where nappies/undies would sit - high sitting though - not boyleg style),
*width from middle of buttock to the other buttock.
*And if you wish to include your fav crotch width from any other nappy you have that would be great...

I am finalising the design of my nappy (it's only taken 12 months!)

And suggestions for names of said nappy greatfully accepted! They are going to be a simple basic no-frills style pocket to start with.... I think!

Eau de Bebevomit

That's the current fragrance I am sporting.

Poor thing has spiked a temp... :(

Then when I went to get some stuff for her from the chemist, promptly threw up all over me.

She's miserable and lethargic. :(

Hopefully no more vomit comes though

Blasted Overlocker

It does not like me at the moment.

But when it does, I'll have some cloth pads available for testing....!

I'll have regular size and a post partum size - both with and without pul....

And I'll have some liners too (with no PUL)

Anyone as excited as me yet?

Can I just say...

Can I just say that my online store is going to ROCK when I get it going?

I have been brainstorming like no tomorrow with product ideas and suppliers and things like that.

I have so much organised - all except the money. Once I buy the domain and the business name, then I'll be all set. I am just so in love with my concept. Sure there are other ones out there, but I will have some unique things to sell, and I am going to be small scale. At least to start with.

It's all going to get me towards my goal of being a doula. The store will generate funds so that I can pay for my stuff.

In the mean time, I will go to the next ABA meeting with regards to being a counselor and will decide shortly if that is what I will do.

I might see if I can transfer my doula course to someone else until I can get the money to pay for it upfront... and time to be a doula. Who knows.

but my store. my store is going to be unreal and funky and will make me happy! Something I can do from home, and look after Tara and bub and reach out to people.

Now.... just to win lotto and start it all!

Sometimes I love my creative brain!

So Sad

deleted

More Random Stuff

I have been asked to become a community educator, or a breastfeeding counsellor. It is something I really want to do, but was going to do it after I do the doula stuff.. but since that is in limbo... maybe I should look more into it.

My little home business thingo linked to the doula stuff I was planning is slowly taking off... when I say taking off I mean, I have ideas flowing and a website in the process of design....

I need to start doing something.

If only "something" did not require money to start up!

Handfasting

If he does not want to do it, why won't he just come out and say it, instead of pandering my ego by saying "not decided yet"

It's bloody 50-and-a-bit days away. I want to know. It's one thing I am dying to have in the ceremony...

but I doubt I'll get it.




Life feels so fucked up right now.
Too much negative energy around me. Maybe I am just calling it all around me. Maybe I ran over a cat in a past life and this is Karma's way of saying hi to me.

Meh. Poetry *shrug*

Songs

The beating slows
The temperature rises
Thicker the water
flows nasty surprises

Rises and falls
stretches and pulls
nightmare ensures
terror fulfilled

Wildly it runs
a river untamed
the dam slowly plugs
a heart heavy blamed

New music beating
steady and strong
the wrong concert venue
still joyous the song

I'm too sensitive.

I know I am too sensitive. I know that I take things to heart when I should not. I experience life with my heart on my sleeve and feel mortally wounded if I feel something is even remotely an attack on me personally.

Knowing this of myself as I do, why would I subject myself to feeling constantly below standard, below human, below woman? Because I figure it's one of the best places to learn what I need to learn. Maybe I'll be "one of them" one day. Maybe not. I am more for the softly softly approach. But I understand why they are not. That's fine.

What I object to is, when I am asking questions, seeking unbiased answers to my questions, trying to find my feet on this journey, being met with a snide undercurrent because I dared got to a hospital in the first place.

It's the root of all my problems, dotchaknow.

Maybe it was my fault for stepping inside the hospital grounds. Maybe I did inadvertantly ask to be sliced open. Maybe, just maybe, I really did have an emergency caesaerean. They were not there. They have not walked in my shoes.

This is not their journey, it is mine.

So while I try and find a steady path to walk on, maybe I need to carry an umbrella to repell the downpour I feel around me sometimes. Hopefully this downpour will provide a rainbow at some stage.

As my current MSN nick says.

I'm not stupid. I just have a scar that makes you think I am.

Time for a change?

I am thinking of updating my blog again.

I think it needs a change.

All those in favour, say Aye!



In other news. I really need to snap out of my blergh-ness. It's not doing my headspace very good to be in this flatline at the moment.

antebridalpreconceptionsleepdeprivedstayathomeworkingmamaofone blergh-ness



I am desperate for a new camera. A point and shoot one where I can just TAKE photos. ANY photos.



Can I just say how amazingly beautiful my child can be. Both in looks and in personality. She comes and gives cuddles all the time, dresses up in scarves and shoes with a bag over her shoulder and waves while saying "buhbye" and walking out of the room. or staring up the says shouting "awwow"

She's magical

Oh wow.

http://www.dfwbirthphotographer.com/blog/

This lady takes photos of the birthing woman. I just watched a slide show of her work. Breathtaking. You can tell she keeps the space, does not intrude. Hangs at the back and captures moments.

Utterly brilliant.

Steps towards a VBAC.

I have been doing some thinking the last 24 hours and I think if I want to have a VBAC I need to actively start working towards it now. So I am starting a list of things i need to do before I birth (not necessarily before I conceive).

These are in no order! just as I think of them

1. Get my hospital records.
2. Join Homebirth Access Sydney.
3. Read Spiritual Midwifery.
4. Find a naturopath/homeopath/osteopath
5. Talk to my GP about shared care (if that is an option)
6. Believe in myself totally
7. Surround myself with people who will listen to my thoughts as I purge them (and not criticise me for thinking them)
8. Keep the house TIDY and CLEAN
9. Read my midwifery Manual
10. Find a doula who will support me from the start (or before) - maybe a friend?
11. Learn to listen to my heart
12. Get fit
13. Pre-natal Yoga once pregnant
14. Talk to Independent Midwives and Homebirth Midwives (Work through Tara's Birth)
15. Read. Read. Read.
16. Work with Ally in the Pregnancy Process - I am not alone. It is our Journey.
17. Learn from others before me. Listen to their stories.
18. Work for my birth - not the birth I expect others to expect of me.
19. Monitor my fertility and track it (www.mycycle.com)
20. Join the Maternity Coalition

If I can do most of these things with my full heart, and believe I can, then I am on the road to my VBAC.

Baa Baa...

88%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

Mingle² - Dating Site

Ramblings

Unfortunately, my dear readers, you are possibly going to be bombarded with Baby #2 preparation posts for a while. I guess they are going to replace the bountiful posts on the wedding (which is 56 days away - freak out ensues!)

Why is choosing how to have your baby such a hard thing to do? Ok, sure, some will argue that it is simply not a choice. Some will say it is simply a case of you have your baby at home if you want to do it successfully, right, safely, etc.

Others will argue that you need to be in a hospital, just in case something goes wrong, to be prepared, to be helped if it is needed.

Many will baulk at that and say "Pay for the hospital ticket, expect the hospital ride".

I still don't know where I fit in on my thoughts. Logically, I see that homebirth is pretty much the best option. I still don't know where I would have fit in with Tara's birth if it had been a home birth. At what point would a HB midwife say "sorry, we need to transfer". I don't know. Who do I ask this to?

I KNOW that women can have successful VBACs in hospital. I know quite a few of them.

The thing is - I still do not know what I feel is the best option for me. I know people rant and rave against one or the other - and that there is not much of a middle ground (Independent midwife in a birth centre?).

Maybe I am not ready to birth a baby yet at all?

How do I process these things? I KNOW the risks of surgery. I experienced MANY of those risks last time, so anyone who tells me I am blind about them is misinformed. They can't tell me I am wrong for being scared of being at home - with the PPH and bloodloss last time, as well as fetal decels (yes, I know many of these are normal - some are not though, and tara had the bad ones...).

I prepared myself so much for Tara's arrival, and still it went haywire. Some was hospital protocol, some was me, some was her.

Where does the line in the sand get drawn? How can I feel comfortable with either decision?

Welcome beautiful girl

Welcome to the world beautiful babe.

Cannot wait to hear more from your mamma.

Congratulations sweetheart - you are amazing. I am in awe.

Happy Big Sister Day K.

Hope you are resting S. and recovering well.

Amazing.

From the voices in my blog...

I am so jealous of the civilisations where the women were considered unclean and had to go off to a womans' hut for the duration of their period and couldn't be around men during that time. I really want a hut. We all need huts.


HAHAHA. this has to be one of the best comments I have seen in a while. You had me crying with laughter!

Me.

I am an hormonal bitch.


'nuff said.

screw my stupid brain.

Randon Stuff

Tara did wees on the potty.
She counted to three mimicking me - and then changed her mind.
She knows that keys unlock doors.
She loves to drink bath water (blergh!)
Tara likes to try and skip.
She says thankyou lots.
And How are you. Though I think I might be the only one who hears these things.
She is too cute for words.
She loves to pat other kids. They have fur too. ;)
We are about to do up a big girl's room for her. I think she may even sleep better there than in our room.
She loves to dance lots.
She knows where her head, ears, eyes, nose and mouth are.
Tara loves to try and dress herself.
She now has her very own cabbage patch doll. I want to find one that looks like her. or find a doll that is made to look like her.

in other news, we have the car and there is much car love.
I've been very slack with wedding stuff.


We saw a man about some rings last night. Ally chose one he liked. I preferred the other one, but he's the one who has to wear it! We got a quote for my ring too. made like the one I saw in Warrnambool. It'll be half the cost of the premade ring. I don't want to really have a ring that fits mine, but this jeweller once again said that it'll damage my engagement ring if I don't have one fit. I feel really anxious about the whole ring thing. Its a case of I am damned if I do, damned if I don't.