Ok.. so I am a mama to a two year old and I am so utterly blessed. And as many may know we are hoping for a second child. It's a painful journey, becoming parents. My heart goes out to anyone who has tried to fall pregnant for more than a cycle, 'cause it really does your head in. And for those trying long time - I really feel for you.
Anyways, Tara was a blessed surprise. We had not planned kids yet, but she turned up. We feel truly blessed. However, I was always told I would have trouble having kids. When she came along, I thought they must have been wrong. (They being the "experts"). But when I think back over all I did as a teen, and all I went through as a young adult, and the medical issues I've gone through, I really start to wonder if maybe Tara IS a miracle baby. I know that all babes are miracles, but having supposedly never had a pregnancy before then (who knows if I missed any) I wonder whether or not she was just a fluke.
We've been trying for a wee while, but not long by any stretch of the imagination. It's weird to chart, and try and time and watch your body to optimise when you are going to fall pregnant. I try not to think about it too much. Recently I have been wondering though, if maybe I really do have some fertility issues. The infections, the hospitalisations, the careless escapades I had... make for some scary thoughts.
And seeing so many of my mothers group blessed with their second child or second pregnancy makes me long for it all that much more.
I am sure it will come.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Not yet.
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8 comments:
*hugs* Hope it happens soon for you :)
I've found it amazing how quickly my fertility confidence has been dashed, after conceiving twice easily, once when it was extremely unlikely and again on the first possibility ... to be on my 5th cycle after my miscarriage is not what I expected at all. I know 4 unsuccessful cycles is nothing in the ttc world, but other time factors come into play as well in how long it feeeeeels like.
This cycle I've started getting more help and being more proactive health wise. I reckon it'll be a coincidence/fluke if it works this cycle, but I know each consecutive day I am making my chances better. I dunno how I'll feel if AF shows but I am feeling a lot more buffered emotionally in the meantime just knowing I am doing more now.
*fingers corssed* for both of our next tries. and yay and extra thanks for our first born push their way in-ers :)
*hugs* I started to feel like I was infertile with no sign of my period or pregnancy too. Doesn't matter how irrational it might be, it's hard to live. *mwah* hope your body has a lovely surprise for you soon!
Oh honey, it's just not fair sometimes, and regardless of how short a time you've been trying, it doesn't make the pain of AF's arrival any less real :(
I'm sending all my fertility vibes your way (we all know I don't need anymore ;))
Hang in there hon!
((Hugs)) Hope you are blessed with a little one real soon.
<3333333
*sending lots of fertile baby catching vibes your way*
This is sort of my fear with our upcoming attempt as I was told I might have trouble though it sounds like for different reasons and La was conceived insanely easily a few months before we were even actively trying.
I don't know if it is a fertility issue for you or not... I really hope not. If Tara is a miracle baby though... I wish you two miracles, the second as adorable as the first.
Love I know how you feel - and I wish you plenty of strength and patience. Its not easy and I hope you receive your miracle soon, you both deserve it xx
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