Winning, and loosing.

Today I lost $3 on a horse race...
Today I won a Scrapbooking kit on the same race...
Today I lost the money I won when I lost the horse race ($1 for coming last!)

I had a very influential friend/aquaintance bless - and encourage - my decision to become a doula this week. My fear of treading on her toes, although misplaced and stupid because it should not matter, was holding me back a little. She was so enthusiastic for me, it has really given me a push. Now I am just waiting for someone to get back to me before making a final decision, and then hopefully starting the course ASAP.

I spoke to my dad for the first time last night regarding the abuse. I did not know how to call him or even start - so I am glad he contacted me at home. I spoke too much to him about what happened. He did not need to know some of the stuff I spilled. I didn't want him to know, he did not need to know.. but he does. It's not bad, just, would have been more comfortable with him not knowing. oh well. He kept fishing a little to have me give him permission to pummel the guy's head in. I was strong enough to ignore his plight.

Last night a mother and a father held their departed daughter in their arms for one last night.

I'll be holding mine a little tighter tonight.

Life is a bumpy ride some times