Memories...Cue Babs!

So, reflecting over Tara's birth has me remembering exactly what went on. I have found myself detached from a lot of feelings about the birth, because that was the easiest way to deal with them. Now even though I want to, I can't *feel* a lot of the emotions I want.

I remember thinking in the O.R. that when I see her and hear her I will cry with joy because my girl is now safe. I just cried because I was vomiting so much, and that I could not kiss her properly.

I remember the anger of having a chuppa chup ripped out of my mouth - yet, I don't remember them telling me I got to 7cm.

I remember the absolute fear I had when I saw her heart rate. That's the biggest emotion I remember. Oh, and the absolute wonder that she was inside of me one moment, then out the next.

I've been watching the video of her extraction. Screaming at Ally to "look at the clock!" What us mothers think about.

I have been thinking about NEXT time. I need to start preparing now, emotionally, if I want to do it again.

So, addicted to reading birth stories, I have been reading Navelgazing Midwife's "20 years of Birth Stories". I have read from August 2004 - May 2006. I can't see if there is more. I have lots of questions about my birth of Tara - but I know one thing is really for certain - Tara was in great distress.

Oh. The Little Wench (I say this quite lovingly!!) has a new sound.

Dadadadadadadada.

As I said. Little Wench.